There’s a fine line between being helpful and over-functioning. Once you slip into over-functioning mode, you relinquish your ability to choose your response in any given moment. Your craving to take charge and ensure that all goes smoothly becomes an “action urge” and an obligation. Life is happening at such an accelerated speed that […]
We human beings can certainly be attached to being attached. We can be attached to our thinking and the way we believe people and circumstances ought to be. We can also be attached to the norms and beliefs of the groups and organizations to which we belong. The difference between attachment, detachment, and nonattachment is […]
Think back to a time when you said yes to something, but you really wanted to say no. Reflect on how you felt in that moment. You may have felt regret for not sticking to what you really wanted. Or, you may have felt sad and even angry, that you could not trust yourself […]
It is easy to have a long list of complaints these days, from rainy weather to worrying about the state of the world. Complaining can be the trait of the victim mentality, or it can be the secret that unlocks what you really care about. Harvard professors Lisa Lahey and Robert Kegan have coined an […]
There’s an old story about a man searching for his car keys under a streetlight. A person who sees the man looking for his keys joins the hunt. After a few minutes the second man asks, “Are you sure you lost your keys here?” The first man says, “No. I lost them in the park.” […]
There’s a story about a young boy who loved his goldfish. He spent hours watching them swim in circles in their small glass fishbowl. But sometimes he felt sad for the fish because their small fishbowl caused them to swim in tiny circles. One day he filled his big bathtub and gently placed each of […]
Many people think it is their job to look smart and have the right answers. As a young woman serving in elected office, I (Donna) felt the need to look strong and decisive. I believed, like many people, that having “right” answers would make me appear powerful in the eyes of others. Fortunately, early […]
A good friend shared a wonderful story about his strong-willed daughter and how one day in response to a potential family drama, she simply said, “I could change my mind.” Wouldn’t it be great if, as an adult, when faced with drama and struggle, you could simply choose to change your mind and let the […]
We had a very busy week as many of you probably had. There were too many hours on Zoom, a couple of family challenges, and a lot of worry about the state of the world. In short, it was an exhausting week. It is in stressful times that the saying “perfection can be the enemy […]
In the last week most people who live in the Northern Hemisphere of the United States moved their clocks forward one hour and entered Daylight Savings Time. If you forgot to change all your clocks, you may have been confused about what time it was. I (Donna) thought I was late for an appointment, only […]
In our free Friday blog, we share tips on how to see drama sooner and transform it faster.
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