There is a part of all of us that wants to be a star. Whether you secretly wish for your “star moment” or you are intentionally pursuing a starring role at work or in the movies, part of human nature yearns to be special. It is your healthy ego that wants to express your individual […]
Human beings are wired to connect and have a natural desire to be in positive relationships with others. But relationships are not always goodness and light. Whether at home or work, even the most trusting relationships go through breakdowns and difficult stretches. I (Donna) was recently speaking with someone whom I coached over ten years […]
Remember a time when you got a new car and suddenly you noticed cars like yours everywhere? You had never noticed it before, but now there’s so many! Your attention creates your reality. What you focus on acts like a mirror and reflects back to you what you project. Last week’s blog was about […]
Have you ever stepped back and reflected on the tone and quality of the conversations you have with coworkers, friends, or family members? A few years ago (pre-pandemic), I (David) was waiting in line to board a plane and overheard two people complaining about “this person and that manager.” They obviously worked together and had […]
A young man was troubled that his wife was in a toxic relationship with a co-worker and wanted to be helpful by offering advice. He sought the wisdom of his grandmother, who was retired as the executive director of a large non-profit organization. He described the situation and then asked her, “Grandmother, I have some […]
There’s a fine line between being helpful and over-functioning. Once you slip into over-functioning mode, you relinquish your ability to choose your response in any given moment. Your craving to take charge and ensure that all goes smoothly becomes an “action urge” and an obligation. Life is happening at such an accelerated speed that […]
We human beings can certainly be attached to being attached. We can be attached to our thinking and the way we believe people and circumstances ought to be. We can also be attached to the norms and beliefs of the groups and organizations to which we belong. The difference between attachment, detachment, and nonattachment is […]
Think back to a time when you said yes to something, but you really wanted to say no. Reflect on how you felt in that moment. You may have felt regret for not sticking to what you really wanted. Or, you may have felt sad and even angry, that you could not trust yourself […]
It is easy to have a long list of complaints these days, from rainy weather to worrying about the state of the world. Complaining can be the trait of the victim mentality, or it can be the secret that unlocks what you really care about. Harvard professors Lisa Lahey and Robert Kegan have coined an […]
There’s an old story about a man searching for his car keys under a streetlight. A person who sees the man looking for his keys joins the hunt. After a few minutes the second man asks, “Are you sure you lost your keys here?” The first man says, “No. I lost them in the park.” […]
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