Insights & Practices
The TED* Blog
Stories, frameworks, and practices for shifting from drama to empowerment.
Focus on More Helpful Thoughts
Not Just More Positive Ones About ten years ago, I began playing pickleball, the sport that started right here on Bainbridge Island, Washington, where I’ve lived for 25 years. The pickleball community here is vibrant,…
More Listening, Less Fixing and Controlling
How are you Listening? Are you a good listener? Or are you sometimes eager to speak and slow to listen? According to a recent business survey, even though people are frequently texting and checking email when talking…
When the Victim Role Can Take Control of the Room
The Surprising Power of the Victim Role I had a recent experience and noticed something surprising and more nuanced about the Victim role than I had seen before. I was at a retreat, staying in a community center with…
Stop Rescuing. Start Coaching.
How to Shift from Taking Over to Empowering Others In my early years as a coach and leader, I thought my job was to fix things to make the world a better place. I wanted to ease the burden for others, offer quick advice,…
Before You React, Assume Innocent Intent
A Simple Practice That Strengthens Connection and Reduces Drama In a previous blog, I wrote about how all events are neutral and only have the meaning we give them. It is our inner Persecutor voice that loves to rush in…
Quieting Your Inner Persecutor
Without Tearing Yourself Apart In my last blog I wrote about how all events are neutral, that they only have the meaning we give them. It is the voice of our inner Persecutor that is often the first to declare its…
All Events Are Neutral:
They Have Only the Meaning You Give Them I haven’t had a brand-new car in over twenty years. Recently, I purchased a sporty SUV in a gorgeous red color that felt bold and alive. About a month after I bought it, I drove…
The Hyper Helper
When Over-Helping Hurts Everyone Of all the three reactive patterns in the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT), it is the hyper helper that most aligns with the Rescuer role. Society lifts the helper as a model citizen:…
My Favorite TED* Tool
How Naming 5 Red Things Can Get You Out of the Drama Triangle Growth in any area of life begins with awareness, and few moments demand our awareness more than the instant we feel ourselves slipping into the Dreaded Drama…